Recurrent
by The Marvel Encyclopedia
Summary: ALLIGIANT SPOILERS. 'I rise from my seat slightly, leaning over to kiss her cold forehead. I swipe a piece of hair from her face and tuck it behind her ear. "Don't leave me now Tris, not now I can't live without you." ' Tris is on life-support, fighting to survive. Allegiant alternative ending and continued story,
1. Apologies

p style="text-align: center;"strongHi Reader,/strong/p  
p style="text-align: center;"strongThis is my first Divergent Trilogy fanfiction so I hope you enjoy it./strong/p  
p style="text-align: center;"strongALLEGIANT SPOILERS! Read at your own risk./strong/p  
p style="text-align: center;"strongThis is set at the end of Allegiant, I wasn't happy when Tris died, I cried myself to sleep that night so I've wrote an alternate ending for those who also grieve for Tris./strong/p  
p style="text-align: center;"strongFor this chapter (and this chapter only) I've used the wording from the book./strong/p  
p style="text-align: center;"strongI do not own anything, everything goes to Veronica Roth (awesome writer)/strong/p  
p style="text-align: center;"strongSorry - I don't usually talk this much in an author's note./strong/p  
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p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;"We walk through the abandoned security checkpoint without stopping. On the other side, I see Cara. The side of her face is badly bruised, and there's a bandage on her head, but that's not what concerns me. What concerns me is the troubled look on her face./span/p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;""What is it?" I say./span/p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;"Cara shakes her head./span/p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;""Where's Tris?" I say./span/p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;""I'm sorry, Tobias."/span/p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;""Sorry about what?" Christina says roughly. "Tell us what em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"happened/em!"/span/p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;""Tris went into the Weapons Lab instead of Caleb," Cara says. "She survived the death serum, and set off the memory serum, but she… she was shot. I'm so sorry."/span/p  
p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;""No," Christina says, shaking her head. "No way. There has to be some mistake." /span/p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;"Cara's eyes well up with tears, "She's alive, barely. They don't think she'll make it."/span/p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;"It's then that I realise: Of course Tris would go into the Weapons Lab instead of Caleb. Of course she would./span/p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;"Christina yells something, but to me her voice sounds muffled, like I have submerged my head underwater. The details of Cara's face have also become difficult to see, the world smearing together into dull colors./span/p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;"All I can do is stand still – I feel like if I just stand still, I can stop it from being true, I can pretend that everything is all right. Christina hunches over, unable to support her own, pessimistic body, Cara embraces her, and all I'm doing is standing still./span/p  
p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;"She will survive this, she has to. /span/p  
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p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;" /p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;"I go to see her in the hospital… sometime. I don't know how long it is after Cara told me what happened. Her body falls limp and lifeless against the hospital bed, the melodramatic beep of a heart monitor besides her helps fill the silence. /span/p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;"She isn't breathing on her own accord, that's the thing that shocks me the most. I had prepared myself on the long walk down for a corpse; I hadn't expected so many wires, tubes and machines crowding around her, keeping her alive; if you could call this living./span/p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;"Christina waits outside for me, sensing that I would want some time alone with Tris. I sit in the plastic chair besides her bed and take an unresponsive hand in mine. Warm tears fall free from my eyes, something I have no control over and I bring her left hand up to my lips, kissing it softly. /span/p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;""Tobias?" I hear a cautious voice call from the doorway. I don't need to turn to know who it is; Caleb./span/p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;"He invites himself in and moves to the other side of Tris' bed. I sneak a glance at him against my better judgement and see tears forming in his eyes; I wipe mine away, embarrassed. "Have you heard anything?" He asks./span/p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;"I shake my head in response. Then decide I should at least give him a proper answer, I may not like him but for Tris to sacrifice herself for him, must mean that she had forgiven him. I would hate him if she died. "The doctor's coming round in the morning," I tell him. "I'll let you know what he says."/span/p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;"I don't look at him but I see him nod in the corner of my eye. "I'm sorry." He says, I don't know whether he's talking to me or Tris but I know either way it's for the same thing. "I shouldn't have let her go instead of me."/span/p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;"I don't know what happens but something snaps inside of me, I comfort him. "If I know Tris like I think I do, she didn't give you a choice."/span/p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;"I see him smile slightly at my remark and he sits down, more comfortable now he knows I won't kill him. "She asked me to tell you something, if she didn't make it." He tells me, taking Tris' other hand into his. It feels strange to share her, especially with someone who betrayed her, but I can see how much he cares for her in his posture, his eyes, and his whole demeanour. "She said…"/span/p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;""Don't tell me," I cut him off. "She's not gone yet."/span/p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;"He lets go of Tris' hand and stands, "I'm going to leave you with her, let me know if you hear anything." I nod and Caleb leaves, basking the room in only the sound of the monitors and Tris' forced breathing./span/p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: medium;"I rise from my seat slightly, leaning over to kiss her cold forehead. I swipe a piece of hair from her face and tuck it behind her ear. "Don't leave me now Tris, not now I can't live without you." I whisper, sitting back down and leaning my head on the bed's barrier, I drift off into a light sleep, recalling memories of Tris in my dreams. /span/p  
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	2. Plugs

p style="text-align: center;"strong Chapter two here.../strong/p  
p style="text-align: center;"span style="text-decoration: line-through;"strongI own everything/strong/span/p  
p style="text-align: center;"strongI own nothing, all rights go to Veronica Roth/strong/p  
p style="text-align: center;"strongI'm trying to stick to a new chapter at least once a day./strong/p  
p style="text-align: center;"strongEnjoy, beautiful readers - I love you all (platonically) - please review./strong/p  
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p style="text-align: center;" /p  
p style="text-align: left;"The doctor isn't very helpful./p  
p style="text-align: left;"And he's as approachable as a bed of nails./p  
p style="text-align: left;"I remember Tris once used that as an insult to me, back when I was just her instructor. I deserved it, making a kneejerk reaction to hide my past from her. Hiding things felt so trivial now./p  
p style="text-align: left;"It's been four days since Tris was shot, four days that felt like four months. I haven't left her bedside, except for ten minutes yesterday when Cara accused me of stinking up the place and threw me into a shower. People come and go, Christina reads poetry every night for an hour, trying desperately to get a response. I sit, I stare and I cry./p  
p style="text-align: left;"The doctor, despite being pessimistic and boring, tells me straight. "She was shot three times." He tells me, a robotic voice listing off her injuries. "Twice in the abdomen, one hit some tissue and didn't cause much damage, the second pierced her kidney and we had to remove it. The third injury was in her chest, luckily it missed her heart but it has ruined her tattoo. There isn't much chance she'll make it, so if we don't get any improvement by this time tomorrow, we will have to pull the plug."/p  
p style="text-align: left;"The words empull the plug /emrattle around in my head, bouncing off my skull and ricochet around my brain. It sounds so inhumane, empull the plug, /emlike she's an electronic device that won't charge properly. She'll wake up, she's Tris Prior; Abnegation-turned-dauntless badass and first jumper, she won't give up this easily. Three bullets isn't enough to kill off emmy /emTris./p  
p style="text-align: left;"I hadn't looked at the damage done to her body yet, scared that seeing it would make it real. I swallow my fear and pull the sheets away from her body. Her stomach is wrapped tightly in bandages and blood - now dry - has seeped through to the outer layers of the material. I then look at her chest, the bandage covering the scar there was removed while I showered yesterday, leaving a scar running through two the black birds signalling her mother and her father, but leaving Caleb's bird untouched. Ironic I think, how it runs through those two, as if the bullet knew that if she died, she'd be returning to them./p  
p style="text-align: left;"Twenty-four hours, that's all the time left for a miracle. But if anyone could do it, Tris could./p  
p style="text-align: left;"The day merges into night and I don't fall asleep on the uncomfortable grey chair like I usually do, instead I watch Tris, still on every form of life-support available to her. I know that this could be the last time I see her, sleeping seemed like a waste of time. I memorise her; the shape of her face, the colour of her hair and the feel of her hand in mine, but I don't want to remember her like this. I want to remember the real Tris, with undeniable bravery, a contagious smile and indisputable selflessness./p  
p style="text-align: left;"The next day approaches too fast, and soon Debbie - the nicer of the nurses - has come in to tell me that they're going to 'empull the plug' /emin fifteen minutes./p  
p style="text-align: left;"Everyone said their goodbyes earlier this morning, leaving just me, Caleb and Christina to ours./p  
p style="text-align: left;"Christina goes first. She's crying, mumbling about how she'll never forget her best friend, how unfair it is that she's lost both Will and Tris in such a short space of time, how she doesn't know if she'll cope./p  
p style="text-align: left;"Caleb is next, he kisses her forehead and apologises for everything, for the big things like letting her sacrifice herself for him and for assisting in Jeanine's torturing, he also says sorry for the little things, for telling her off at the dinner table when she asked her father questions, for forgetting to wait for her once after school when they were much younger, for doubting her when she chose Dauntless./p  
p style="text-align: left;"Then they leave me with her, both in tears and me soon to join them. I struggle with words to say, doubting that she can hear me. With only five minutes left, I decide to just talk./p  
p style="text-align: left;""I don't know what to say," I tell her. "I don't want to say goodbye to you." I stroke her head, giving myself some comfort more than her. "I can't live without you Tris, I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. I love you and I always have. I wish I could take your place, I wish for a lot of things. I just want to see you smile one more time, hear your laugh again. I can't believe you sacrificed yourself for Caleb, but I suppose you wouldn't be the woman I love if you hadn't. Everyone's got you wired wrong Tris, you're not a little girl, you are the bravest, most selfless, smartest, most honest and kindest person I have ever met, you are everything I have ever wanted to be and I promise to live the rest of my life in your inspiration. I will never forget you Beatrice, and if you can hear me I know you'll be cursing me for calling you that but I once promised you I would only use that name under the worst circumstances, this has got to be the worst thing in the world. You're part of me Tris, you always will be."/p  
p style="text-align: left;"I close my eyes to keep the tears in, if she can hear, she'll hear me cry and I want to be strong for her in her final moments. When I'm sure the tears are hidden for now, I open them,/p  
p style="text-align: left;"And I stare into a pair of beautiful grey eyes./p 


	3. Eyes

At first I think I'm hallucinating.

Then, I think I'm dreaming.

The beautiful pair of greyish-blue eyes look into mine, as if they could look past them and into my mind. It's a beautiful breach of privacy. My hand - now trembling - still runs through a strand of blonde hair, as if it is the only thing tethering me to reality.

I see beautifully pale lips form around my name and a strained, weak voice form the question "what happened?"

I can't help but laugh with relief. She's _alive_, Tris_ is_ alive. And just in time, Debbie - the nice nurse - walks in at that very moment, she clutches the door for support when she sees the girl she was about to _'pull the plug' _on alive and well.

"Tris?" She asks. "You're alive! I have to say that you have impeccable timing."

Tris looks to me in confusion and I smile warmly, letting her know I would tell her later. I can't help but stare, I thought I would never see her beautiful eyes again, but here they are, delving deep into mine. Debbie senses that I haven't yet welcomed Tris back from the dead and excuses herself, stating she would return later for a check-up.

"I thought I'd never see you again." I admit when Tris and I are left alone.

She forces a smile and I feel the pain she's in. "Was it really that bad?" She asks and I realise I didn't answer her first question.

"The nurse was coming to take you off of life-support, they didn't think you'd make it. What's the last thing you remember?"

She thinks for a moment, "I survived the death serum but David was waiting for me."

"He shot you," I tell her. "Twice in the abdomen and once in the chest, you released the memory serum just before you lost consciousness. When the death serum cleared, Caleb went in to see if you were okay and found a very confused David watching you bled to death, Caleb ran you here."

She nods along with me, understanding what I'm saying. "When can I get out of here?"

"Not yet I don't think, could be a while."

She sighs, "I just want to feel less crap, kill David and leave this godforsaken place."

I laugh at what she says, "Well staying in hospital a bit longer will help you feel better." I explain, "When you're better I will follow you wherever you want to go, whether that's back to Chicago, staying here or exploring another city. Whatever you want" I kiss the hand I'm holding. "As for the David thing, I wouldn't recommend it. He has a whole bunch of guards with him after I tried to kill him, you won't be able to get to him."

"You tried to kill him?" She asks.

I nod, "it took three people to restrain me and calm me down."

I watch her as she laughs rhythmically, "I love you" she says between rolls of laughter. I hear her wince with pain and kiss her forehead.

"I love you more." I reply.

She shakes her head on the pillow "I don't think you do."

I lean over the side of her bed to press my lips to hers, its a short and slow kiss, both of us weary that she's in a considerable amount of pain, and soon I pull away. I press my forehead to hers and whisper "marry me."

She pushes my body away weakly but I sit back down anyway. "What was that?" She asks.

"Marry me." I repeat, smiling this time as I say it.

She looks at me wide-eyed and I begin to regret my on the spot decision to propose in a hospital. "Why?" She asks, doubt fills me and I suddenly feel insecure. I reassure myself, even if she says no we will stay together, we've been through to much to let this come between us.

"Because I love you and I've realised the past week that I can't live without you. I'm never letting you out of my sight ever again, this would just make it more official."

We stay looking at each other for a while, Tris obviously deciding a nice way to let me down, I open my mouth to say it's okay if she says no when Christina bursts through the door.

"Tris!" She shouts as she enters, breaking mine and Tris' gaze. "I am so glad you're alive!" She runs forward and wraps Tris into a hug. Tris screams out in pain and Christina retracts immediately, "so sorry."

"It's okay," Tris replies. "You're elbow was just in one of my bullet holes, no big deal."

Christina sits down in the chair opposite me. "You have amazing timing, you know that?" She asks rhetorically, "A minute later and you wouldn't have had the choice to come back to the land of the living."

Tris smiles and says "I try my best to keep you lot on your toes."

I sit in silence and wonder how much damage I've caused to mine and Tris' relationship, I think Christina picks up on this when she asks, "did I interrupt something?"

I look to Tris, if she says no then that must mean she's still deciding, a yes would mean she knows her answer and wants to give it to me. That could either be good or bad. I hope good.

"You did actually." Is Tris' reply, judging by the tone in her voice, I assume its bad news.

Christina rises from the grey plastic seat and walks carefully to the door, "Is ten minutes going to be enough?" She asks, both me and Tris nod, not looking at each other but keeping our gaze firm on Christina, "I'll go tell everyone else that you're alive then we'll all come down to see you. Okay?" Again we nod.

When the door closes shut, silence consumes the room again and I focus on the sound of Tris' steady heartbeat radiating off of the heart rate monitor. My hand is still in hers, starting to sweat with nerves now. I swear I haven't been this nervous since I chose Dauntless over Abnegation at the Choosing Ceremony, I could see my dad twitch as I drew blood from my palm, I thought he would hit me in front of everyone when my blood dropped on those coals.

I'm brought out of my thoughts when I hear a weak voice mutter the word "Yes" with a sigh.

My head snaps to the side and I look into Tris' grey eyes again, "Yes?" I ask.

She nods, "Yes, I'll marry you."


End file.
